Mojo121

I miss...

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Motor traders with a personality.

I swear to God everyone on my Facebook and that I'm vaguely connected to is starting a car sales business. A guy with a courier firm, some double glazing fella, the guy that does carpet cleaning, a musician, the ice cream man... seriously? It's not that I'm afraid of the competition it's just stay in your fucking lane. I don't come and start pouring out Mr Whippy's calling myself Soft Icie when times are hard thinking the grass is greener do I? 

Not to mention they're drips. All of them. Poncing around on their social media page telling you how "cool" their Mini Cooper Clubman is and how they take it home every night because it's their favourite of the 3 shitboxes they own. They pay garages labour by the hour.. retail!!? They come up to you in auction "how much do you spend on this" "where's best to advertise" "how many cars do you sell" "why do you think my red 13 plate corsa 1.2 with no air con for £5k hasn't sold?" "should I offer finance because I'm selling 3 cars a month" "look I built this website in C++ Python dick code aren't I good?". No. Just fuck off. 

After a month or so they get their first screamer. Immediate refund. No questions asked. Please don't harm my precious reviews.

"We really went above and beyond for that client". What? You're flogging cars on Facebook from a bit of space you rent in an oversized car park. Where are the sheepskin coats and that guy that smokes a pipe?

An auction and the motor trade shouldn't be a welcoming place. It wasn't when we started. Now it's a creche.

 

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yes agreed my local BCA car park is full of various Taxi company cars there for the quick £100 profit brigade, There would be more Taxi if they could park but the amount of 15 year old Sprinters  with RO, SL, L  on there reg plate there leave them no room to park

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I miss...

Scrounging last months (if I was lucky) dog-eared Glass’ guide off the local tame main dealer and putting it in its leather cover.  Thumbing through it for insurance groups etc, reading the write up at the front each month.  Thumbing through it and finding an actual name of an underwriter up-country that you could call up and get a bid on something. 

Getting up early to buy the local rag and AT magazine to scour for bargains. 

Going to the block and knowing I’d buy something but no idea what. Breaking down on the way back.

Haircuts (and hair for that matter), service stamps etc  

Tyre paint. Pom and newspaper. Vinegar and newspaper to clean windows  

Calls on landlines only. 

Putting stripes on cars  

Tax discs and cashing them in. Removeable car stereos and fitting them yourselves.   Speakers on parcel shelves. 

Autotrader woman that came out in her cavalier and took your ads and photo’d the cars. 

Going to scrap yards and actually going inside, climbing up, in and around cars to get the bits you needed. Delight if you found a body panel or door etc in the same colour. 

Cash. 

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Dictating your ad down the phone to the local paper on a Thursday afternoon.

Going into a main dealer and buying a px.

Having a fault on a car and knowimg what it was.

Getting the paper on a Saturday and seeing they had got something in the ad wrong.

Chrome wheel trims.

Vinyl roofs.

Rinigng up the paper on a Monday and getting a discount on next weeks ad because they got it wrong.

Waiting for cheques to clear.

The main dealer who used to valet the px's for me and deliver them too (for a small fee)

Having traders bring cars out to you.

Buying a car and finding it had optional power steering.

Explaining why 5 gears was better than 4.

Having unlimited energy and enthusiasm

 

Edited by David Ayers
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Living at home paying £20wk board (and moaning about it) whilst pretending to be a car dealer (but really just utilising a traders policy to drive an XR3i at 18)

Ebay (when it was good)

Paying pence per character in the paper (hence PAS, FSH, EW was invented)

The acronym guide at the beginning of AT's pages, explaing what PAS etc meant.

Bargain Pages and AT hard copies, beating the next trader to the call.

Top Marques magazine (where I stole part of the name of my business from)

Doing my own valeting (properly) and having the energy/enthusiasm to do it.

Driving for the first time after passing my test.

My MKII Escort which at the time I was embarrased of but now could retire on.

70's, 80's and some 90's Fords and Vauxhalls.

 

 

 

 

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Punters realising a banger was a banger.

Punters who readily accepted Caveat Emptor.

Cash men who understood what a cash deal meant.

Blu Tak-ing EML lights (or just flinging the old fashioned bulbs in the bin).

MOT sheets with no advisories.

The early days of Ebay auctions when they were ‘on fire’ & the private punters bought any old shite.

Simple road tax rates (no punters whinging cos the car ain’t £30 a year).

Easy clutch changes.

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1 hour ago, tradex said:

brilliant....

Holts touch up paints

Bowlers...wheel trims

Harry Moss

Audioline

Sharp with AMSS, APSS, FUCKME-SS

Feu Orange and Racing Turtle Turtlewax air freshners

Plastic fingers on the lower edge of bootlids

CB radios, yes even an OE option on some cars

....too young for 8 track thoughs, though I had one in a C3 Stingray I owned complete with Burt Bacharach and Andy Williams tapes

I'd forgotten about air fresheners.  What were the 'three gems' ones?  Bit like a traffic light.  v posh.

Anyone remember 'tax in post' in windscreens?

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18 minutes ago, NOACROSS said:

I'd forgotten about air fresheners.  What were the 'three gems' ones?  Bit like a traffic light.  v posh.

Anyone remember 'tax in post' in windscreens?

Feu Orange I think

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49 minutes ago, Mark101 said:

Feu Orange I think

Agh yes. Sorry Tradex- you mentioned it. I see you can still buy them!

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Main dealers begging you to buy their swappers ( good ones ready to retail )

Bungs

Trim rings

Full shoots for £55

70-100% margins

big chucky commission + volume bonus

again haircuts

 carrying a pocket full of readies ( donkey choker ) being standard fair 

buying something and knowing it would  be ‘ downed ‘to passing trade within a day of pricing it up.

vat 7.5% and and the time before vat

Car dealers with the appearance of Philip Green and wearing camel coats,sheepskins,trilbys,expensive suits with white shirt and tie, constantly smoking Churchill size cigars and often accompanied by their mol

buying and selling stuff auction to auction for good profit

Autotrader and finance company lavish corporate hospitality

Etc etc

 

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catching sales i had diverted to my motorola brick whilst at the sales

you had to be accepted into the club back then because there wernt enough phones to go round on the vodaphone network

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Having a foreign holiday just off cashing tax disc's.

Telling autotrader what to do, getting a free ad if they f**ked up the typo in that weeks mag.

prestige green cars being good news - white cars kiss off death.

smoking something different daily - rarely buying fuel.

fearing monthly book drops.

having a choice of local painters!

two toning lower half of cars.

p38 - large tin please.

pinstripe everything.

dreading an mot - rust.

being able to make good profit at auction - weekly.

being able to buy good cars cheap at auction - weekly.

don't miss - sales managers also having foreign holidays off my brown envelopes, autotrader children telling me how to suck eggs, finding a decent painter, rust, traders bouncing cheques!

 

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1 hour ago, jason doyle motor sales said:

catching sales i had diverted to my motorola brick whilst at the sales

you had to be accepted into the club back then because there wernt enough phones to go round on the vodaphone network

How much did your brick cost.I think I was paying £500 p/m in the 80s.

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In Scotland you need a license to sell second hand cars. This is a good system - if it was enforced! I've lost count of the times I've seen undeclared cat n cars, sheds straight from central auctions etc etc on facebook. It makes the job hard ,especially if you trade in sub 3k cars.

The people who get duped by the plastic trader vow never again and they become PCP Arnold Clark slaves.. 

Some auctions ask for more than a trade insurance policy ..they all should! 

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10 hours ago, NOACROSS said:

Going to scrap yards and actually going inside, climbing up, in and around cars to get the bits you needed. Delight if you found a body panel or door etc in the same colour.

Back in the day. Breakers yard in West London, In the pouring rain late in the evening just before the guy closed up. In the top of a wobbly 3 car stack, laying upside down, removing the headlining from an Astra! Those were the days!

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Some of you guys are showing your age here! I never remember Vat being any less than 17.5% :lol:

 

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9 minutes ago, met said:

Back in the day. Breakers yard in West London, In the pouring rain late in the evening just before the guy closed up. In the top of a wobbly 3 car stack, laying upside down, removing the headlining from an Astra! Those were the days!

Character building. :0)

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8 minutes ago, MarkTVS said:

Some of you guys are showing your age here! I never remember Vat being any less than 17.5% :lol:

 

I think I remember Vat going from 7.5 to 8%, I used to invoice out repairs at that time for the garage I worked at in 1975/6 at 16/17 years old.

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Phone cards.

Thinking you were clever because you had a mobile..but at £300 odd to buy and £30 month plus calls at 50p per min...maybe not so clever.

The butterflies when you knew you had got something cheap.

Quick knockdowns.

Selling stuff to main dealers to a sales manager who had forgotten more than you knew.

Arguing over a fiver for a replacement log book

Cash

Glasses guide being the "bible" and Cap being the "black book'

Phrases like "behind book" and "into book" being commonly used.

The local "watchmaker" 

Bidding up your own car with the auctioneer. 

Selling it with a nod.

No warranties, no comebacks. All round.

Being genuinely excited about opening the new auto trader.

 

 

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Underseal black, up to nearly door handles ! i got a sahara beige cortina, blacked up to halfway, rest looked suspiciously very clean, took a gallon of petrol and washed it all off, [ no smoking ! ] then t cut it and polish and only found a few rust spots on the sills which were re blacked, made a bucket of money out of it, he who dares :D

kiwi on the vinyl top ?

steam clean the engine then just take off the dizzy cap and blow it out ? [ i have would preferred to have seen it before you washed it, er, no you wouldn't :lol: ]

so heres one for you ? whats cu1000 ? give you a clue, its advertising .

 

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1 hour ago, MarkTVS said:

Some of you guys are showing your age here! I never remember Vat being any less than 17.5% :lol:

 

Out of interest.The introduction of VAT in 73 killed off bumpy deals.The Gov.credit squeeze on luxury goods meant that to buy a car ( a luxury) on HP you needed a min 30% or 40% deposit depending on the age of the car.So you might have a poverty model Cortina at £600 which required £240 deposit.Many punters did not have the deposit so on the HP doc you would describe it as a top of the range model selling for £900 with £360 deposit.So the punter only actually paid £60 deposit and thanked you. Because people rarely defaulted on HP agreements ( not like today ) you got away with the bumpy deals. Crazy days,my basic was £10 but I earned £150 per week,I was 21.

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