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April Fools’ Day: The best pranks

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Time 8:25 am, April 1, 2014

IF it hadn’t escaped your notice, today is April Fools’ Day – and it means that car manufacturer press offices get their thinking caps on and let their hair down with bizarre press statements.

Here we’ve rounded up the ones that have caught our attention at the Car Dealer office.

N.B. We apologise in advance to any manufacturer or PR firm if one of your serious press statements is published here.


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BMW introduces force injection system

BMW looks set to change the face of motoring with the introduction of a patented artificial G-force technology.

BMW’s new Force Injection Booster simulates the effects of spirited driving, even when commuting at slower speeds, to create a thrilling ride. When activated at speeds under 20mph, the Force Injection Booster (FIB) works by extracting kinetic energy from the car’s engine and converting it into positive g-forces. These are then channelled directly at the driver and passengers through the air conditioning vents, while a mild electric current is delivered through the front seats, to simulate the same exhilarating feeling of driving at high speed.

 

If Scottish independence gets green light, Scots to drive on the right

Scottish roads plan explained

Image: The Guardian

SCOTS should prepare themselves for a raft of new initiatives if the plans for an independent Scotland get the go ahead.


According The Guardian, the measures include a new road sign scheme – where M motorways will be renamed S, and A trunk roads will be replaced with the letter N for Nationalist – new type font on road signs called ‘Proclaimer’ and a vast ‘spiral interchange’ system which will help drivers in England driving on the left easily cross to driving on the right.

 

Nissan creates GT-R charger

BkHicLaIIAA31-JJAPANESE firm Nissan has created a brand new charger for smartphones. The QiCharger charges a smartphone from zero to 100 per cent in 2.7 seconds – the same as a Nissan GT-R’s 0-60mph time.

 

Gunner get one?

aaa6f3e1-7adc-4452-ae05-a319d910d087MAKING its debut ahead of the 2014/15 season, Citroen will produce a special Arsenal edition of the forthcoming C4 Cactus.

The integrated dashboard console will feature Citroën’s new Geo Organised Away-day Location, Information & Entertainment interface, or G.O.A.L.I.E. The touchscreen system is preloaded with all of Arsenal’s away fixtures, including directions to the matches, a database of pie and mash vendors and a music playlist of rousing football anthems to sing along to.

Head of Citroen UK’s Special Projects division, Joseph King, said: ‘We think Mr Wenger and the team will be delighted with this new special edition. As Official Automotive Partner to Arsenal, Citroën is always looking for new ways of celebrating our relationship.

 

ASX Convertible announced

 

Time for Cooper T?

398f0ba3-768e-458a-b9cc-9edd8f540f8eMINI has created the world’s first car to be powered by tea leaves.

The new car, which is available in a variety of colours including ‘Chamomile Yellow’, ‘Red Bush’ and ‘Earl Grey’, is expected to cause a real stir in the motor industry when it’s served up later this month.

Capable of covering up to 40 miles on a single cup, Cooper T features VVT, ABS and DSC, but also benefits from DAT or Dunk Avoidance Technology. This ingenious filtration system stops peckish owners and opportunistic passersby from inserting biscuits into the Mini T’s fuel tank in order to moisten their snacks.

Head of Cooper T engineering, Dr. Ivana Kuppa, said: ‘This particular project has been brewing for years.’


Mini customers in the Gloucestershire area can get a first taste of the Cooper T at Mini Cotswold Gloucester on April 1, where the vehicle will be displayed.

 

Peugeot announces new Audio Sonic personalisation programme of car horns

559cd42d-e1cf-4152-bf26-8e8fd619ac35FROM July 2014 production onwards, brand new Audio Sonic technology will be a standard feature across the entire Peugeot range. This state-of-the-art new technology allows customers to personalise their car horns to reflect their taste and character.

 

HPI launches military-grade check

7163e0be-cfca-40ec-bd5a-49f396ca3b25HPI, provider of the HPI Check, has today launched a new military grade lie detector function to the HPI Check App.

The service which draws on expertise from signal processing, voice biometrics, speech coding and pattern matching gives buyers the ability to reliably determine when a car seller is knowingly trying to deceive them.

Available to download for free from the App Store and Google Play, the HPI Check App, now includes a Lie Detector, as well as the core vehicle check service. Now, buyers on the move can use their phone to check whether a person selling privately is stretching the truth about that dream buy.

 

New Skoda Yeti Ice Special Edition

8335ca4f-6adc-4b8d-973f-156c162e68daSKODA is celebrating the launch of its new Yeti range with a remarkable new special edition – the Yeti Ice. On sale today, the new model pioneers a radical new faux fur finish that has been developed by Skoda engineers working in the Himalayas.

The Yeti Ice’s faux fur has numerous advantages over traditional paint, as its inventor, Dr Yu Ciddingme explains: ‘The fur is so thick and luxurious that during our tests in the arctic circle, our test drivers didn’t need to use the heater.’

 

Paw-wheel drive

5d62adac-09c5-43fa-a35b-f5f2a304c0d6THE RSPCA has partnered with Volkswagen Commercial Vehicles to teach rescue dogs to drive.

Over the past two months, three mixed-breed dogs, Tulip, Jacob and Harry, have been taught to drive a Volkswagen Amarok by the animal welfare charity. Amazingly the dogs, which were trained at the Southridge RSPCA centre in Hertfordshire, have learned to control the brakes, gears and even the steering wheel.

The dogs, who sit upright on their haunches, were initially taught to steer using a wooden trolley pulled along with string. Mock car controls were then introduced before the dogs were trained to wear specially adapted safety harnesses and put behind the wheel of a 180PS four-wheel-drive Volkswagen Amarok.

Anna White, manager at the Southridge RSPCA centre, said: ‘We wanted to demonstrate how intelligent rescue animals can be.

‘There is a real shortage of volunteer drivers to take rescue animals to centres with space to accommodate them. We wanted to find a novel way that would encourage more volunteers to help drive rescue animals around the country.’

 

This post will be updated during the day

 

James Batchelor's avatar

James – or Batch as he’s known – started at Car Dealer in 2010, first as the work experience boy, eventually becoming editor in 2013. He worked for Auto Express as editor-at-large and was the face of Carbuyer’s YouTube reviews. In 2020, he went freelance and now writes for a number of national titles and contributes regularly to Car Dealer. In October 2021 he became Car Dealer's associate editor.



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