My Confession News

My Confession: Customer falls for my fake Essex impersonation

Time 8:10 am, November 4, 2013

My ConfessionAfter reading your last issue with the feature on that TV programme The Dealership, I thought you’d appreciate my story.

A couple of weeks ago I was on the forecourt with two of the salesmen. We were talking about the show and I was doing my best impression of the main character, James. Harmless fun.

I saw a girl looking at the Golf GTI on the front, I said ‘watch this’ and walked over to her. ‘Aww-ite darling, wanna take me for a little spin in it do ya? Haha!’. I opened and closed the door and said, ‘Listen, it even sounds like a Golf’.

Watching my colleagues as they fell about laughing, I carried on with the act, thinking that she would just say the usual ‘I’m just looking thanks’ and I’d walk away.

Using all the lines like, ‘The paperwork is phenomenal’ and ‘You ain’t gonna find one better my babes’. I was laying it on thick and getting lots of laughs from my colleagues in the background.

Oblivious to what was going on, the girl said, ‘OK, I want it’.

What followed was the most embarrassing hour of my life. My colleagues had made the rest of the dealership aware of my situation and got pretty much everyone within earshot of my desk. I had to carry on with the act as I did all the paperwork and negotiating. After she had gone, I got a round of applause from the guys and a ‘proper rinsin’ from my guv’nor. He was well not ‘appy, mate’.

My confession isn’t to my boss or The Dealership, but to the poor girl that had to put up with my acting and sit there with everyone watching.

Sorry my babes!


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Car Dealer has been covering the motor trade since 2008 as both a print and digital publication. In 2020 the title went fully digital and now provides daily motoring updates on this website for the car industry. A digital magazine is published once a month.

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