DECISIONS, decisions: red or yellow, comfort or looks, sporty or plain? And no I’m not talking about clothes or shoes.

On his 50th wedding anniversary a man of certain repute was said to have told his audience that when he first got married he and his new wife made a pact.

It was this: ‘In our life together it was decided that I would make all of the big decisions and my wife would make all of the small ones, and I believe that is the reason for the success in our marriage. However, the strange thing is that in all that time, there hasn’t been one big decision to be made!’

Is buying a car a big decision or a small one? Does it depend on the price of the car or who is buying it? I know that many men would like to believe that the final decision in this matter is theirs, but most of my friends’ husbands wouldn’t dare seal the deal without at least tacit approval from their wives for fear of dire repercussions.

And from the sales side, I’ve been reliably informed that in the process of buying a car, most men, married or otherwise, tend to have to ‘check with the boss’ before they hand over the readies. I bought my first car at the tender age of eighteen: a mars red Mark 1 Golf, whose registration I can still recall today. I took my then boyfriend along and he did the manly thing of kicking the tyres and looking knowledgeably under the bonnet.

‘I do not like to be patronised, ignored, or advised that a Ford Focus is a great alternative to a Mazda MX5’

But the decision to purchase the car was mine. Although it was a private sale, we arrived at the seller’s house to see a beautifully presented car reversed out of the garage. All the documents were to hand, together with up to date service stamps and current MOT and it drove like a dream.

I immediately handed over the asking price of £400 and took the car away there and then. (Fully insured, of course). I called it Tomsk and cried when I sold it a few years later.

Since that first time I have purchased many cars; all from dealers, despite my initial private purchase, and some of the tactics have left me annoyed, frustrated and in one or two cases, seething. I

f I am to part with a relatively large amount of my hard- earned money, I do not like to be patronised, ignored, or advised that a Ford Focus is a great alternative to a Mazda MX5. Is it really too much to ask for a woman to be taken seriously?

So, what’s the best way to clinch a sale with a woman?

Here’s what not to do:

1. When a couple walk onto the forecourt and start looking, don’t automatically walk up to the man and start talking to him – he may not have the final say and may not even be the one who is buying.

Five years ago I was looking to purchase a car for around £11k. Even though I made the initial phone call, when my male friend and I arrived, the dealer proceeded to discuss the merits of the car with my friend without acknowledging me at all. Then we had to wait 10 minutes while he got the car from ‘another site’ and I couldn’t test drive it properly because the fuel tank was on empty and ‘we weren’t going near a petrol station’. My £11k was spent elsewhere.

2. When a PX is brought in, don’t look at it as though you’ve stepped in something nasty.

Shaking your head and sucking in air really doesn’t help either. This happened to me at a VW main dealer, when I was looking to spend around £20k.

The car I wanted to PX was a well maintained VR6 Highline – hardly an ‘old banger’ – so when he offered me a ‘few hundred’ because of its age I returned his gestures and left.

3. If we have test driven a car and say we don’t like the ride or that the car is underpowered or not quite what we are looking for, please don’t harass us or think we don’t know what we want.

After test driving a particularly gutless car, I politely told the salesman it wasn’t for me. He then proceeded to call me every single day for two weeks to see if I had changed my mind!

If you listen to what we are asking for and treat us with courtesy and respect – a little flattery never goes amiss either – you are far more likely to get us to part with our money, or our husbands’ (their money that is, not our husbands), and will probably return to you again in the future.

I need to change my car soon – any offers?

Who is Jackie Bond?