I have on my lot at the moment a very nice, and extremely good value (even if I do say so myself), example of the convertible BMW Z3, 95,000 miles, a full service history from an independent sports car specialist and in generally good condition.

The car is a 1999 T-reg, so is just shy of its 12th birthday, but being a BMW it’s also exceptionally solid, looks really smart and drives superbly. For this future classic, I’m asking a not unreasonable £2,750. So I was utterly gobsmacked the other day when a potential punter phoned up, and then came to view. I showed him the log book, and he went into a complete rant at me.

‘You never told me it had five previous owners when I called up,’ he fumed. ‘I’ve wasted my time, fuel and energy coming over here for a car that’s not worth anything at all. I can’t believe you’ve got the cheek to ask that much for it!’

I thought he was about to blob me one on the nose, but luckily Fluffy, my friendly Rottweiler, took umbrage at his arm-flailing gesticulations and started bouncing around the lot, at which point the punter took flight, back to the safety of his British Racing Green MGF, which he’d no doubt bought from a real-ale loving beardie-weirdie bore who’d owned it from new…

I’ve come across all sorts in this trade before, but never a rant like that. These days, cars change hands all the time and five owners for a 12-year-old vehicle is not uncommon. Indeed, I sold the Z3 to the previous two myself, and they were so fond of the personal, friendly, Fluffy-free service they’d received from Big Mike’s Motors that both of them came back for other cars – one chopped it in for a Volvo T5 estate when he accidentally got his girlfriend up the duff, and the other had a 3-Series Coupe off me as she wanted something more weatherproof.

These are the reasons why people change cars after owning them for a relatively short amount of time, and sports cars, by their very nature, tend to be a little nomadic. Often bought with the heart rather than the head, a lot of people will buy one just to see if they like it, then find they barely use it and sell it again.

Why the number of owners on the V5 shouldn’t bother anyone, unless of course there have been about nine in the past year, which suggests an unsolveable fault with the car, is beyond me. If the car is in good nick and has been well-serviced, as has the Z3, then these things should be immaterial. Both the owners who had the car from me had kept its service record up-to-date using the same garage, as both were the kind of people who knew that by looking after their car it was less likely to let them down. Surely, then, the type of owner is more important than the number?

‘I’ve come across all sorts in this trade before, but never a rant like that.’

Yet I also have a little VW Polo on my lot, which is a genuine one-owner car. I doubt it’ll be around for long, as despite being 10 years old, little VWs are in demand, and they’re tough little cars. I picked it up in the auction because I knew a one-owner Polo would be easy to sell, and I got it for a song because it was shabby as hell – the clutch was slipping, both front and rear bumpers had chunks missing out of them and the passenger side door mirror was held in place with the mechanic’s best mate – half a roll of gaffer tape.

It cost me about £400 to put it all right, at trade prices, yet I reckon I still have at least £500 profit in it because of its one owner provenance. That is, of course, providing the buyer doesn’t read too deeply into the service history.

If they do, they’ll find that the previous owner, Mabel, had paid her local VW dealer to fit five new clutches to the car in her decade of ownership. They’ll also find a receipt for a new driver’s door and body repairs to the side panel, along with a top-end engine rebuild despite the fact the car has only covered 37,000 miles. Mabel, clearly, had bought the Polo because she knew VWs were tough…

Yet a low-mileage X-reg Polo with one lady owner from new will not be a difficult tin to push, despite the fact I wouldn’t touch it with a bargepole – unless the receipt’s gone missing, I know it’s still on its original gearbox, and I dread to think what Mabel has done to that! Besides which, it looks like I’ll be stuck with the Z3.

After all, I shouldn’t have the cheek to try selling it, should I?

Who is Big Mike?

Well, that would be telling. What we do know is he’s had more than 30 years experience in the car trade and picked up some seriously funny  tales along the way. You can read more Big Mike here