TODAY is one of the few days of the year when car manufacturer press offices go all silly with April Fools’ Day press statements.
Here we’ve rounded up the best that have made us laugh at the Car Dealer office.
N.B. We apologise to any manufacturer or PR firm if one of your serious press statements is published here. We’re all (including Car Dealer Dog) ultra suspicious today…
BMW shows off new P.R.A.M
WITH a royal baby due this summer, we are proud to announce the launch of our limited edition BMW P.R.A.M. (Postnatal Royal Auto Mobile).
Available in Princess Pink or Royal Blue, this soft-top convertible has been designed using our EfficientDynamics technology. With two or four-wheel-drive, it rides as smoothly on a polo field as it does down The Mall and comes with air conditioning and built-in extendable flagpoles as standard. For those who are ‘too posh to push’ this masterpiece of motherhood even comes fitted with N.A.P.P.I.E. (Nanny-Assisting Petrol-Powered Injection Engine).
To find out more or book a test drive, contact our Head of Postnatal Innovation at [email protected] or ring 0800 093 6161
New Toyota van primed for British Touring Van Championship
TOYOTA is lining up its new Proace van for a summer of high speed track action in the new Touring Van Championship.
Its three UK independent touring car teams have jumped at the chance to be the first to the grid in the new series, parading their race-prepped Proace machines in full team livery.
‘The Touring Van Championship is just the kind of cost-conscious racing Britain needs,’ said championship spokesman Gideon ‘Gig’ Gleman. ‘The Proace carries up to 1.2 tonnes in its load space, so everything you need to go racing can be carried in the back. No big trucks, no catering wagons, no fancy-dan hospitality units – if it won’t fit in the Proace then it’s not needed at the circuit.’
Eagle-eyed motorists may have spotted the racing Proace undergoing its intensive test programme. Its handling has been fine tuned through 24-hour lane-switching manoeuvres on the M62, while the sequence of traffic lights along the A4 west of London has helped hone its off-the-line acceleration. This month Proace will also undergo full race assessment at the Nurburgring, competing in the annual Lastkraftwagenpokal meeting around the legendary circuit’s Flair Loop.
Teams are confident Proace will be the van to beat when the championship bursts into action in July. In fact, negotiations are under way for it to join the Avensis touring cars in the British Touring Car Championship proper before the end of the season – the racing saloons will be rebranded Avansis in honour of the occasion.
‘Volvo raced an estate car back in the ’90s, so we see it as a natural evolution of touring cars to embrace vans as a holistic, 360-degree engagement with stakeholder behaviours. If you want inclusivity in British motorsport, count us in!’ said Gleman.
‘Toyota has a fine history of truck racing in America – even Kimi Raikkonen has been behind the wheel of a high-speed Tundra pick-up – so the sky’s the limit.’
New car leaves CAP puzzled
EXPERTS at CAP Automotive are puzzling over how to publish essential details of a vehicle – claimed by its makers to be ‘the most environmentally friendly car in the world’ – because it is powered by air.
Weighing in at just 400kg, the Yúrén Wind, built by the Shanghai-based Yúrén Automobile Co – and poised for UK launch this Summer – is built from ultra-tough resin-impregnated recycled paper and cardboard on a lightweight aluminium chassis and powered by a compressed air motor.
The problem lies in the fact that every car needs a code assigned to it by CAP, the independent publishers of valuation and technical information on all vehicles available in the UK – but CAP is currently unable to assign one to the Yúrén Wind.
CAP is now in talks with the manufacturer, who fear the car could be a commercial failure without a CAP Code.
CAP’s David Saville said: ‘The new car market has seen a great deal of innovation in recent years and we have always managed to keep the CAP Code up to speed with developments like hybrid fuel types and electric vehicles.
‘But this is the first time we have ever come across compressed air as a fuel type and it poses a number of challenges to our code format. For example, we cannot assign an engine capacity, a fuel type or the fuel delivery system. Assigning an MPG figure is also a problem.
‘We are hopeful we can overcome these problems because, at a time when economical motoring is more important than ever before, four-wheeled transport with doors and windows for £3,995 is likely to be a winning proposition – if only we can find a way to describe it properly for the market.’
MG shows off new range
MG is today proud to announce the launch of a brand new product line.
Today, in MG dealers across the country, the MeGa Sandwich goes on sale. Available in three trim levels, the MeGa Sandwich comes with a seeded, crusty bread as standard and two fantastic colours – choose ‘Special treat White’ or ‘Sensible healthy Brown’.
Upgrade to the MeGa Sandwich SE and you get six way adjustable Salad to go with the 17 twists of pepper.Should you choose the top of the range TSE, you are guaranteed a highline layer of spread and every conceivable condiment at no extra cost.
If you are looking for something with a little more of a kick then you may want to consider the MeGa Sandwich Mustard. From hand to mouth in 0.3 seconds, the MeGa Sandwich Mustard is the choice for the discernible luncher.
The MeGa Sandwich is available from only £15,455 in your mouth (including VAT, first munching fee and the first years serviette).
Today for one day only, anyone buying an exclusive limited edition MeGa Sandwich will get a brand new MG6 of equivalent specification at no additional cost.
The post will be updated during the day